In-Person & On Paper
The last of our five deliberate practices is ensuring all solicitations of those on the assigned list are first done in person and immediately reiterated on paper.
In “The Art of Asking,” Amanda Palmer says her many odd jobs taught her much about the feelings of vulnerability that accompany asking and observes nearly every important human encounter comes down to asking. “Asking is, in itself,” she observes, “the fundamental building block of any relationship.”
As a street performer dressed as an Eight-Foot Bride, Palmer watched people approach. As they contributed money, she handed them a flower and made intentional eye contact. Palmer describes these meaningful encounters as ones with people who seemed like they hadn’t talked to anyone in weeks. Without saying a word, she would communicate non-verbally, “Thank you. I see you.” She would see a message in their eyes in response: “Nobody ever sees me. Thank you.”
Palmer learned from her brief but profound encounters that what people desire is meaningful connection. This is the same type of connection our donors are looking for when they respond to our appeals: they’re hoping for a meaningful response in return. As fundraising professionals, we are at our best when we return the favor—when we ask in person, in anticipation of, and in sincere gratitude for, a meaningful response.
It is in these soliciting moments that fundraising professionals can fulfill one of our primary obligations to donors. When we ask directly, specifically and in person, donors are invited to look us in the eye and say yes, no, or maybe. When timely and appropriate, we can be assured that our donors rarely desire to say anything other than yes. What’s most important in this moment is that we allow our donors the time and place to be generous and to find meaning in their contribution. When we selfishly insist on an arm’s-length exchange, we have no appreciation for this potentially powerful and rewarding moment.
In our own work as a firm, clients routinely ask us for a script. They want to role-play the solicitation. We give them the same answer we’ll give you now: that’s not how it works. My clients are grasping for control or believing that adhering to an outline will eliminate their feelings of vulnerability. It won’t. Palmer writes: “[A]sking can be learned, studied, perfected. The masters of asking, like the masters of painting and music, know that the field of asking is fundamentally improvisational.”
When we ask in person, we ask specifically, and we ask in accordance with the organization’s operating budget, strategic plan, or case for support. Rather than wait for the donor to discover an opportunity that interests her, the fundraising professional should know the needs of the organization well and be able to point to places that might align with her interest.
I once solicited a million-dollar gift only to have the donor call me a few days later to clarify what I had asked for and what he had agreed to give. We can be certain I was clear about the request I was making, and yet somehow, he missed something. In a moment like that, articulation and clarity are critical. The most deliberate practice for a fundraising professional is asking in person, with the request so precise that he can once again articulate the request on paper.